Yes folks much to the chagrin of everyone on earth Janet Queen of the North abdicated her crown of Butt-wiper Drinker of the Year to Pussy Boy AKA Brian.
Here they are at the beginning of the debacle appearing sane. Brian’s stratlegee this year was to never sit down. He claims that his demise in the previous contest was that he passed out without noticing and thus lost the contest. I sincerely doubt that that was the case but what the Hell who am I to argue with success! Janet has had a cold all week and was just feeling better but she claims no excuses at all – “The new Champ won fair and square!” she said. But as an entirely impartial observer I saw a complete parallel to the last competition. Janet had a hard time getting through number 15 and caught her second wind and Brian appeared reasonably lucid. The difference is that on number 17 Janet was sick of drinking Butt-wiper and thought that Brian was doing entirely well playing horse shoes. So she capitulated and gave into what she always does when she gets drunk – she went up to the house and started calling people. But true to form Brian crashed and burnt on beer 19 just like last time – as Janet sat around the fire and giggled and told stories. She later evacuated her system of the offensive brew and then had supper and stayed up till about 1 AM. Brian passed out about 11 – 11:30 as per normal. Today both contestants are awake and feeling great. We’ve had a hearty lunch and are preparing for a day of fishing in the sun. It is rumored that any further competitions will be conducted with Schmidts. Janet said “I’m never drinking that crap – Butt wiper again!” So that’s the way it is from here at Sportsmen’s Camp.
The new diesel – Dick AKA chuggabugga is up and running and powering the camp. Janet has also put a video of the chugga running on Youtube – entitled “Dick lives”. The video is also grouped among the Sportsmen’s Camp Videos. One of my new favorites is the beer bottle bowling on the beach one! Check them out – you’ll get to hear the new diesel too.
Its a beaut of a day here in Northern Ontario, crystal clear int the upper 70’s low 80’sF and with just a very slight breeze. We’re going out fishing now. Seeya!
Keep things warm. I’ll be there this time next week. Did the livers arrive yet?
Jack, I’m adding a link to the YouTube video so your massive audience can just click to view, instead of having to search YouTube for it
Ying, love the new banner! The rest is nice too.
I think that this is clear evidence that even the most seasoned and talented of pros needs a coach to prepare for the big ones (aka pussyboy). If someone had been there to encourage and cajole Jan….to remind her of her rightful place in SC lore (appalling or not), this travesty would never have happened.
Dear Hogfish
Jan had two of the most seasoned drinkers in camp (canadians eh)(which Jack will attest to) One of which was myself personally coaching her on. Jan was drinking Budwipe once again and saw the follie of her ways and I can’t say I blame her. I’d like to see the Lovemaster match her drinking 50 for 50, a real beer. I was encouraging and cajoling Jan the entire time but I swear it was the CRAPWIESER.
Jack’s Narc Deb
Obviously this was a ruse, just a publicity stunt to set up the sucker bets for the rubber match!
I can’t believe that Jan is losing it, or is she going soft now that she is drinking trendy drinks like raspberry vodka??
It’s a hard truth to admit to but every chanmpion has his/her day (witness Federer). Jan has shown great dignity…..let her reign be remembered.
Screw dignity, cry foul, demand a rematch with better beer (Old Milwaukee), pout, ask for a recount.
As for Rev asking about the livers, are these for the transplants we all need after leaving Sportsmen’s?
Not “livers” Phry, “LIVErs”. It’s the new SC Fall Fun, human sacrifice. Fling ‘em outta the treb!
I feel it has now become time to make my victory speach. That could of course be due to the fact that I have finally sobered up. (no, that will probably never happen) It was a long hard battle well into the sixth hour of competition. I give kudo’s to my competitor. She was a honorable foe and fought hard. It was a great victory and hopefully I only have one year to bask in it’s glory, for I understand that there could be new competition next year along with new rules. But for now victory is sweet and I will honor the title and the greatest camp on earth that it was secured at!! Sportsmen’s Camp Rules!!!