Princess Di and Michael Jackson still dead. Film footage at eleven!

As for here at Sportsmen’s Camp its still raining daily but at least there are enough breaks to get some work done and some fishing in and the docks are not awash.

Everything takes more time here at camp and many unlikely chains of events occur. For instance Jim Baxter wanted to get to his fishing spots quicker so we  purchased a larger motor for him. After putting it on the fiberglass boat and extensive testing. I noticed the boat leaking and had to pull it out and fix it. After emailing Jim about the new motor he put the “mal oche” on me inveighing the Evil Janeeto from the planet Janetron to nag me to trap a bunch of leeches. This also prompted the “Evil One” to note “You know your stupid sister is gonna want leeches TOO!” Sooooo hen pecked as always I get the leech traps out. But Gee, we have 5 leech traps but no fresh fish cark-eye (plural of carcass). So we’re gonna have to go fishing, but we’re nearly outta beer! So off to Quick’s we go to buy more beer. Then we pack the provisions to go fishing with extra ice to cool the beer properly. There just so happens to be five people here to feed and five leech traps so we have to catch five eating sized fish. We caught the required fish quickly but there were 7 beers in the cooler so we had to stay out fishing longer. After returning I filleted the fish and fried them in beer batter and remembered – those fish carkeye are down in the fish house! So I retrieved the carkeye put them in the traps and drove to the leech pond and set the traps. All the beer and food and activity made me sleepy so I went to bed early! 12:30! So now I am up early (got up at 9 AM!) and feel like shit and I have to get the garbage. When I take the garbage I’ll have to go to the Beauty Lake dump so I can pick up the leeches on the way back. So that BASTARD JIM BAXTER is making me go to the Beauty Lake dump in a few minutes! And to top it off he made me get up early so I have time to write this stupid fucking blog while I drink my tea and now all of you idiots are reading this shit — all because of that BASTARD JIM BAXTER!

The fishing yesterday was excellent – Janet (Evil One) caught two nice eating sized walleye and I caught several bass and a pike. Three of the bass I caught were 18 / 19 inch class I caught the majority of my fish on mepps and I think Janet caught most of her’s on mepps. Several were caught on leeches as well and we didn’t have any luck locating the perch here on Firth. The water temperature is at 68F and the water level is back down to 0.90′ on the lake gauge.

No folks those aren’t woodpeckers – however its not a far drive to crazy from here. The pecking is the hammering at the Villa Colombi addition! We’ve got a couple nice days here and Janet and I have made great progress on the addition. I am posting a picture as promised. However I was enjoying Phish Phry’s eloquent comments and was thinking about being lazy and just stirring that pot a little more to see what additional dross floated to the surface.

Janet and I painted the floor last eve at 2 AM and it was reasonably dry before one of the Carols from cabin # 6 walked on it this morn. It took me a little while checking shoe prints but I soon ascertained who the culprit was. Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise…

The screens are now in. The corner trim, window trim,  end eve siding, insulation, paneling, ceiling, door and side trim need to be completed so it should be completed this week.  Janet  has sewn the curtains and is locating single beds so its will all come together very soon.

We went fishing yesterday and it  was a little slow. The green drakes mayflies were hatching and the fish are eating their fill of them – making fishing a little slow. But slow fishing here at Firth is still great. We caught several eating sized fish on minnows and leaches over the deeper shoals and drank several beers so we weren’t fishing seriously. We’ve had too many shitty rainy days not to just go out and enjoy the sun and a brew! The water temperature is around 69F and the lake level has dropped 2.5″ since I ripped out the beaver dam. The slate drake mayflies have yet to hatch but they are generally not a massive hatch so the fishing should be excellent in a couple more days. If we continue to get a few more sunny days the lake temperature should rebound nicely for some good swimming too. Sled and his work crew have just blown into camp so I can go back to getting the new diesel set up – sweet!

I’M BACK!

Yes folks – Faster than a speeding limpet, more powerful than Sarah Palin (abdicating idiot lame-duck conservative window dressing governor), able to trip on small molehills in a single shuffle, more verbose than William F. Buckley Jr. without the tongue waggling, able to spew invective berating inveterate imbeciles whilst masticating chicle, unable to spell the words he uses in normal conversation, forgetting numbers quicker than Sled can say “Um”, swilling beer like a sailor on leave when no prostitutes are in sight, able to find imperative work whenever Erskine begins a sentence with “I was on the radio talking…”, and protecting America from the fascist selfish moneyed class swines and their unwashed ignorant dupes while he promotes truth, justice, democracy and the American (as in the continent) way!

Well enough about finding bodies and other inconsequential nonsense! It has rained every day since I left 7 days ago! The Joan (East) Dock is nearly awash. Whose imaginary friend do I have to pledge fealty to, to get some good fucking weather? Just a second – In the immortal words of Edith Marks – “If you’re (please note children, for your edification, that the contraction of  “you are” is you’re not “your” but “you’re”! MFPP – The hand painted piss pot goes to the first person that tells me what MFPP stands for and her name isn’t the Evil Janeeto from the planet Janetron.) gonna shit in your hand shit a handful!” I want fucking beautiful weather- I want palm trees swaying – I want hula dancers – I want a sunburn – I want vodka on the beach – I want to beat Jim Baxter at bean bags whilst smoking a good cigar and drinking 50! I am back one day and I have to go rip out the mother fucking beaver damn! I’ve owned the camp for twenty five fucking years and I have had to rip out the damn 25 fucking times! There truly is no rest for the wicked and it isn’t even sunny today and the mosquitoes are still bad and I’m getting too old for this shit and who the fuck put benzedrine in my morning green tea! I know this because I am watching the contrails of tripped out mosquitoes bursting into flames after drawing blood from me as I pound this poor keyboard. Janet informed me last evening that the rain began precisely after I remarked that we needed rain after a beautifully hot two and a half weeks this Spring. So its always my fault. Being a witch is a heavy burden. Perhaps I will now remark “Enough with the goddamn rain already we need some sunny hot weather!”

Seriously though folks Janet tells me that there is a spate of good weather heading our way and I should be able to make some headway toward completing the addition to Villa Colombi and installing the Chugga as well as the myriad of sundry tasks necessary to keep all of our extremely needy clientele happy as pigs in shit – hmmm perhaps that is an inapt expression given the muddy condition here at camp – OK I have it, happy as a one armed paper hanger with the Swedish bikini team sitting on his lap holding his drinks so his hand is free. I now have all the necessary plumbing fixtures “for the great leap forward” installing the Chugga and will post some pictures of the progress and the new Villa Colombi addition, so off I go on another perfectly ordinary day!

I don’t know the lake level, I don’t know the water temperature, I don’t know what the fish are biting on, I don’t know how many miles it is to the Grassy Landing, I don’t know nothing – get off my fucking back I just got back. And am HAPPY AS HELL TO BE HERE!

Exciting news from Duncan Lake:  a skeleton was found at the north end this week.  Check out the article in the North Bay Nugget:

http://www.nugget.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1652717

The local gossip thinks it was an Indian burial ground.  Ok, if that’s correct then where are all the other skeletons, eh?  Bob Fuller thinks it is the body of a guy named Wolford who used to live here at Sportsmen’s Camp.  He disappeared and it was widely speculated that his son, Lawrence, killed him and buried him in the bush.

Anyone else have any ideas?