Its been a while since my last posting but the writers strike has played hell with us here at The Sportsmen’s Camp Blog Offices high atop the TWD (The Wonder Dog – not Totally Wacked Democrat, Chuck) Building. Being Liberal Democrats we’ve been paying our staff of writers throughout the strike so have a very good relationship with the union. Thus I’ve been able to negotiate a separate agreement. We’re back at it folks!
I’ve also been busy with my run for the White House. Nearly every day I reflect on the state of the nation and orate (scream) for hours in the car (at Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage, O’Brien, Haunsberger, Drudge or Fox – “We say we’re fair and balanced so you become inured to our lying and thus expect it in the future” News.)
The Platform for my candidacy under the auspices of TWD (see above refernce – Chuck) Party are as follows:
First of all I would like to say that all of my policies flow from the need to stop raping the the middle class and instead to nurture it. (Issues not necessarily in the order of importance)
Health Care – Universal health care for all under a single payer system similar to the Canadian – British – European plans. Simplicity simplicity simplicity. Survey the major plans in use throughout the world and employ the best features of each, they have provided a wonderful test bed that we should make use of. All Employers will be freed of providing healthcare and thus operating costs for car manufacturing will decrease by about 1000$ per unit. Also it will substantially decrease our manufacturing costs on every major item. Lower paying jobs will now provide a living wage to the working poor. Incentive to remain on public assistance will be diminished. The greedy blood sucking unscrupulous insurance companies will be gutted. Infant mortality rates will go down so that we may thus get close to the rates of other less rich and less powerful yet civilized nations.
Trade Policy - Reexamine all free-trade pacts – If your nation does not have parity with the worker wages and benefits, environmental regulations, and human rights to our nation your products will be slapped with a duty to compensate for this disparity. The funds collected will be used for low interest rate capitalization loans to start up manufacturers in the USA. If this causes a trade war of duties – so be it – we will soon be consuming American made products and the funds for the purchase of said products will go to the wages of tax paying Americans and stay in our economy. Manufacturing has to make a huge resurgence in our country if the middle class is to survive.
Tax – I would institute a flat Goods and Services Tax applied to everything. Refunds of the collected taxes would be made on the basis of income. Low income gets everything back – high income gets none of it back. Corporations would still have a tax applied to profits. Based on a sliding scale. There would be no exemption extended to any institutionalized delusional sect (church/religion). We have separation of church and state – DAMNIT! If you want to subscribe to an institutionalized delusion it is none of government’s business but we’re no longer funding it.
Immigration and boarder policy - Track down and deport all illegals – secure boarders via what ever means are cost effective and necessary. All employers will be put on notice to ask your employees to prove they are citizens. The labor pool will tighten and the “jobs that Americans don’t want to do” (what a complete crock of shit!) will pay to the point where they will want to do them. The laws of supply and demand apply to labor too. The “guest worker plan” is an absolute bullshit policy designed to keep labor pay rates down and keep the lower middle class down.
Gay Marriage – It’s none of government’s business. Everyone one should be allowed the same access to misery. If your institutionalized delusional sect (church/religion) abhors such a union – then don’t perform these marriages. No problem. But it is legal.
Flag Burning – GET OVER IT! If our nation is not free enough to withstand this sort of time honored anti-government demonstration the nation should be dissolved.
Defense – Radically minimize and reduce all internationally land based troops worldwide. Fund and maintain a technologically based air supremacy approach to military policy to work hand in hand with “carrot and stick” foreign policy. If your nation operates as a civilized nation we will help you with monetary aid. If your nation behaves as a terrorist state we will bomb your infrastructure into the stone age. But grey areas of foreign policy will continue as before. There will just be an very resistant approach to committing ground troops.
Abortion – GET OVER IT. It’s none of government’s business what a woman chooses to do with her body. If your institutionalized delusional sect (church/religion) is totally apposed to it, then don’t have one. Its none of my or your business.
Separation of Church and State – You are free to believe in any imaginary being you choose but it must have no impact on government, other people, science or public funded schools. Anyone is free to be an idiot – as long as it doesn’t negatively affect others.
Environmental Policy – This is a losing battle but it must be waged. More people equate to more pollution. We must rethink all of our land use, energy, and industrial policies to maximize water conservation, air and water pollution mitigation, wetlands and flood plains, green area and to minimize impacts on climate.
Energy Policy – A vast government funded “Manhattan Project” to develop clean fusion nuclear (not nuc-yooolar!) power. This should be funded by a dollar a gallon gasoline tax. The tax will boost the market for fuel efficient vehicles and minimize gasoline use as well as stimulate alternative fuel production and use. This methodology would use the market to determine that much more fuel efficient autos will be used by the majority of Americans.
Gun Policy – Gun ownership is an American right. It simply is! But that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be licensed just like a car. Ownership of a gun is a responsibility with licenses and mandatory insurance just like cars. Collectors can be cut breaks, just like car collectors – the analogy runs nicely. I have no problem with taking an unsafe driver off the road and the same should hold true true of unsafe gun owners.
Campaign/Election Reform - All political contributions should be labelled and regulated for what they are – BRIBES! Penalties should be assessed appropriately. Political action committees as money gathering devices outlawed. As part of payment for the use of the airwaves all communication companies should provide equal space to all political candidates able to provide a petition with a sufficient number of registered voters in support of their candidacy. The Internet could also be employed in this collection of registered voter petiononers. I also support a check off on tax forms that provides some of your taxes to fund political campaigns. An infringement of free speech? I think its more an infringement of bribery and corruption – perhaps slowing the mothers milk of politics, Money. Abolish the electoral college – presidential elections by popular vote nationwide. Abolish gerrymandering – the judicial branch should set ”blocky and contiguous” representative regions at the end of every census period. Congressional term limits – lets return to concerned citizen representatives for shorter periods of time – no professional politicians. Line item veto – lets quit talking about pork and waste and start getting rid of it.
Tort Reform – No fucking way! If a jury thinks you should get 5 million in damages you should get it. Its a Trojan horse for the total subjugation of the middle class by corporations. The only thing that stops corporations from raping us is that we can hire a greedy attorney to fuck them royally with obscene damages! The only thing that motivates a corporation is massive monetary damages.
Education - Everyone should be entitled to a free public education unfettered by all institutionalized delusional sects (church/religion) and college/vocational training should be free to anyone with the necessary mental facility.
Lastly – I want a president that can read above a 3rd grade level and doesn’t have an uneducated Texan accent! Someone that won’t be the laughing stock of the world and make an absolute fool of him/herself everytime they try to read a speech and/or speak extemporaneously.
I don’t have a Texan accent but I may have some problem with not making a fool out of myself every time I open my mouth. So my catchy political slogan will be – “Vote for me, I’m NOT nearly as fucked up as Bush!”
