That’s a Least Grebe!

The Fall season grinds forward to the Winter season. This years Lake Erie wine tour was a delight! We missed “Boat Bitch” Jim and Linda from the Tour though! Linda had to work in the Osh Kosh retail salt mines at Grove City in obeisance of the impending orgy of greed and consumerism – Christmas for the uninformed. We hit about ten (its hard to be precise in these things yaknow) wineries and picked up some fine vintage. Several varietals another really nice cabernet sauvignon (Shloss Doepkin) and some really tasty berry wines – blue berry, logan berry and a really cool dry elderberry. After we drink the Elderberry we can all scream – “Your mother was a hamster and you all reek of ELDERBERRIES!” But the wine wasn’t the only highlight – we had a really nice picnic lunch of exotic cheeses, spicy meats and designer breads down by lake Erie. A high point for me, was seeing about 6 (count’em six) least grebes cavorting in the small harbor and fueling up for their continuing migration. This sighting was a first for me – eat your heart out Rich Scaglione! We then adjourned to Café Joan in Cambridge Springs for a sumptuous repast of fettucini Alfredo and (you guessed it) some great wine! After supper there was some wine-fueled belly dancing too! A great way to spend warm fall day and evening!

We’re just back from Thanksgiving in Scranton. The drive to Scranton was a little dicey at first but we drove out from under the incoming storm front at about mid state and enjoyed dry road conditions the rest of the way. We then met Bob and Caroline at Revello’s pizza, in Old Forge and consumed the best pizza on earth. (I shit you not! If any of you are in the Old Forge/Scranton area I heartily recommend a side trip be made to partake!) Rudy and Kirby got to make the trek with us this year and they had a great time too! The bird was excellent as always and everything would have been perfect if it weren’t for the company – just kidding. It’s always great to get caught up on the doings of Klan Hair/Hoffman! Janet’s brother Bobby and Caroline were great hosts as always and thanks again for welcoming the prodigal doggies Rudy and Kirby. Janet’s mother Jean is doing well and always amazes me with her great sense of humor. The drive back was also without any bad weather conditions. Of course there was no snow in New Castle when we got back – courtesy of the vaunted 5-Megawatt Antisnow Generator!

So Thanksgiving 2005 is history – a fond memory – I hope it was the same for everyone!

But I heat the house with those tubes!

Yes the vaunted Antisnow Generator is working at nominal levels. Hal is enjoying 5 nanoseconds of Internet use per week and is quite content. I had to keep his Internet use short or it tends to lock up – the net – that is. Singularity containment is stable with no quantum fluctuations. It’s a good thing too or we could experience total protonic inversion!

Due to recent events I have begun work on a new device – an Antideer Generator. Or more specifically a Portable Antideer Generator. I recently plowed into a hormone-crazed doe with the Bug at 65 mph. After meeting the bumper the doe careened over the car and was a DOA on landing. The VW is still in the body shop but I was very impressed with the strength of the car body. Due to the slope of the hood, I expected the deer to join me in the car after impact. But the hood seems to be sloped just right to bounce errant animals over the car! Kewl! Back to the new device. Hal has been suggesting that we use transistors to save weight and provide durability in bumpy situations but I am skeptical – the car would be so homey and toasty with those tubes humming and glowing! It would only save 45 kg any way! The big problem is the quantum shielding for the singularity containment field! We have got it down to 6.7 x 10 to the 47 metric tons of brane phase shifted mass. I am hopeful we can pare off some more weight but it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to install it in the Bug soon. Hal is investigating quantum universe phase shifting the entire device and bringing it on board the car at the instant a deer nears the car. It really works too cause the deer never go near the car! However there are still a few “bugs” with this idea since the device flattens the car to a 5-micron thickness when it is put to use! It also may be masking the effectiveness of the device as a deer deterrent since the deer may just be bouncing off the device as it sits atop the crushed vehicle. Hmmmm, maybe I’ll just sell it to the Department of Defense.