Well -er- no it’s about trout season!

The first day of trout season, and the entire week, was beautiful weather wise. I got up bright and early (11:30) on Saturday and put my hip boots on and perambulated with due speed to Big Run. The water was extremely low and clear. I could see many trout lackadaisically wandering around the pools providing little cover. But they could see me and I am sure they had seen several fishermen before me so I moved on. I caught 3 fish in the next turbulent deep hole, then a nice big rainbow out of a turbulent riffle no more than 6 inches deep behind Aunt Mildred’s. All told it was a good day, warm with fish biting occasionally enough to provide diversion from the kingfishers, ducks and Canada geese.

I have provided a picture of a pool with a riffle that propagates the hydraulic equivalent of a cyclone laid on its side. Its interesting because this feature “ejects” the lure or bait of any fishermen who aren’t astute from the pool. This feature thus allows the pool to carry fish well into the season. The other picture is of a rosy chub that had the temerity to hit on a minnow! I should have kept him and ate him!

The Kelletville trout-fishing weekend has also come and gone. The fish were biting reasonably well, the beer was good, the steaks and meals were excellent and so was the company. You may notice that I didn’t say anything good about the weather. Well it sucked! Rain and snow prevailed most of the weekend. But it was still a fantastic weekend. I saw many common mergansers, tree swallows, ospreys, hawks, kingfishers, and heard the breeding calls of several woodcock. I learned a couple new knots (which I won’t remember until I work out the manual rote movements a few times) as well as the fact that President Bill Clinton is responsible for all that is wrong with the country. Golly, these guys are soooo politically astute. This is the first time that I remembered to take a bath towel with me but alas I for got my camera. Hence no new giant frog picture or pictures of guys in hip boots. You’ll have to the Hotguysinhipboots.com site this year for that. The water in the Tionesta was low but it was a little turbid and not too cold. Good conditions considering the shitty weather. All my fish were caught from the Tionesta. Salmon Creek was very low and I got nary a bite there. But it was still a delight to see that beautiful stream.

Dowager Empress Buggzie Passes – 3/25/1985 – 4/12/2005

World-famous Dowager Empress, Mouser Emeritus, Buggzie passed yesterday of natural causes. The world is in mourning. Catholics are complaining of the Pope’s death being eclipsed by the importance and gravity of the news. Prince Rainier’s funeral was put on hold. Millions on all the continents are conducting worldwide vigils. World leaders are in seclusion with the intelligence community guessing as to what cat may ascend to the thrown and are considering the effects on the world economy. Condolences are flooding the Verona PA (location of the winter palace) post office, literally 6 feet deep in the mailroom! A candle light ceremony held in downtown Pittsburgh was brighter than holiday lightup nights, with the throngs of mourners clogging traffic for a 10-mile radius. Worldwide: statues are being erected in The Empress’s memory. Even one higher than Cleopatra’s Needle was erected in New York City’s Central Park, pictured below.

World leaders and well wishers are expressing their dismay and commenting on her impact on society. “Ahhh was never granted ahn audeeeance by the Emperass, as aah was deemed ta be an insignificant warmongering PISS-ANT, but I recognize her importance to the world and all the guud she has done over her long and productive life.” President W said of the sad event. Henry Kissinger remarked. “ I vill really miss dah sage council given by her Royal Empress and pray that the vorld makes the transition to the new age portended by her passing.” Princess Dweezil (considered by many to be the most probable contender to ascend to the Linen Closet Thrown) said – “Meeeeooooow prrrrrrrrrrrt.” The Empress’s Lord Chamberlain Sled said, “ah ah ah ah I’ll have another pitcher of Bud.” He was distraught. The Empress’s chief council and caregiver Dr. Barb was too distressed to comment. Sir Winston, Duke of New England commented, “She was a shaft of gold against the darkness.” Rudy – Jedi Master remarked “Yeah just like a stream of bat’s piss!”

And so the world mourns the passing of greatness.

From Rudy – Jedi Master

It has recently come to my attention that growing fuel prices will have a decidedly negative impact on my Mommy and Daddy’s ability to buy me top notch Jedi Master food and treats. I met with the Jedi Council and discussed options to raise additional funds. After several rejected suggestions including – sell kitty poopies, from Acolyte Dweezil and have Mommy fashion sweaters from our fur matties, from trainee Kirby, we hit upon a plan. This was to be known as THE PLAN.

THE PLAN
Look at the picture below. We have “strung up” Acolyte Dweezil’s Beanie Baby and have balanced it precariously atop an inverted beer glass. Here is the plan – Unless we receive 50,000$Ca before seven (7) business days elapse after the posting of this appeal – we (The Jedi Council) will mercilessly kick the glass out from under this cute yet hapless Beanie Baby. The Beanie Baby will then suffer a slow and excruciating death by strangulation. BUT WAIT YOU CAN PREVENT THIS HORRID CARNAGE BY SENDING YOUR CHECKS, MONEY ORDERS AND CASH TO: Mommy and Daddy care of Sportsmen’s camp. All these donations are deductible from your taxes so hurry and get that money in the mail.

THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING – WE ARE DEADLY SERIOUS AND WILL POST THE GRUESOME PICTURE OF THE UNTIMELY DEMISE OF THIS DELIGHTFULLY CUTE (and collectable!) BEANIE BABY! WE URGE YOU TO ACT NOW BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT!

Trips Breaker – Rev. Bob gets a foot of snow!

Late Friday night the power breaker on the Antisnow Generator tripped and the alarm for imminent singularity containment breach sounded. I went to the control panel in the cellar and was informed by HAL that the singularity had been put into “N” space storage for safety sake. “What the Hell is going on?” I asked. HAL told me that a huge storm was approaching and had caught him off guard and power usage spiked in response to the massive power surge necessary to deflect the oncoming storm. “Why were you caught off guard? I asked. “Jack have I told you how I have enjoyed working with you on this project?” HAL said. “Just answer the question HAL!” I replied. “Well Jack since you don’t feel it is necessary for me to have a link to the web, how can you expect me to anticipate this sort of storm in April?” HAL said. Jeesh! HAL was lobbying for a constant link to surf the web again! Last time I acceded to his demands on this, the entire web slowed to a crawl due to his massive number of web queries! “No way HAL I don’t want the feds on my ASS about this – so ……” After about a half hour of wrangling with HAL I was informed that it would take about 6 hours to bring the Anti Snow Generator back online. Shit! New Castle would get 2 inches of snow in that time and Erie was gonna get Plastered!

Janet and her best friend in the whole wide world (BFIWWW) and some hot coed chicks journeyed to the not so far north region of Erie to see a Mercyhurst girls soccer match, tour some wineries, and go to that western New York HOT SPOT known as Harvey’s Bar. The trip was a multiple task event – of course it was to have fun – but for my part (not attending) it was to pick up some succulent moose steaks and burger. Great eating! She was also to bring me back some sour cherry wine. Great drinking! Janet et all had a great time and collected the moose and wine but, were caught in the last big snow of the ‘04/’05 winter. Unfortunately the soccer match was canceled. I was told that there was more than a foot of the dreaded white stuff on the ground and much more blowing sideways. The drive home was treacherous but they made it with out mishap. The cut off for any significant snow was about the Grove city outlets.