I just had to laugh!

Well it’s all over including the shouting. We have a duly elected president! Huzzah! It sounds like a spaghetti western but a coalition of the godly, the greedy, and the ignorant have triumphed. I voted and the election was consummated. The American people have spoken. All I ask is that the godly pray that W doesn’t fuck things so badly that the only reward they get is in their imaginary heaven. All I ask is that the greedy get so fat and happy that they feel some remorse for the burden of the middle-class serfs. All I ask is that the ignorant remain that way, because if they ever catch on to how they’re getting fucked, a real revolution (with guns) will happen.

On the plus side, this election has given me some understanding of history! Up till this point it was very difficult for me to understand some past events. Now I have instant clarity concerning how the people of Germany voted Adolph Hitler and the Nazis to power and I can now understand how the insanity of the crusades played out.

On a lighter note, here (for all you Fox viewers) are some of the colorful expressions that Dan Rather used during the election coverage.

“Like a big wheel through a Louisiana cotton field”
“Hotter’n the devil’s anvil”
“A lead as thin as November ice”
“It don’t mean a thing if they don’t get that swing – states”
“That counts for a 3 point shot in basketball language”
“Your mother was right, looks can be deceiving”
“Back to the door, shirt tails on fire, between a rock and a hard place” (yes they were all used in tandem!)
“Rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit”
“Makes your fingernails sweat”
“We’ll see you along the trail”
“Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows”
“This race is crackling like a hickory fire”
“Don’t bet the double wide on it”
“I wouldn’t crack an adult beverage on it”
“Lead as thin as turnip soup”
“If’n a frog had side pockets he’d carry a handgun”
“And not be afraid of black snakes” (finished by Bob Sheaffer)
“Pete Coors gets a silver bullet right through his senate race”
“Play a verse of Johnny be good here”
But the most telling comment of the night came from Robert Novak – “This is a conservative country.” Sadly, true.

Am I bitter? NO! It was an election. But I am further jaded. Have a good weekend. I will be in mourning for the fate of the nation, our freedoms, the environment and the demise of the moderately conservative Supreme Court. As the hand of corporate America tickles your belly dear voters, don’t forget to shake your foot.

Hijinks!

I’ve done my civic duty and have canceled Buss’s (pig-ignorant) Vote. I can only hope that Maria, being the enlightened individual that she seems, didn’t cancel Janet’s vote! So much for my online mini poll.

It was a normal year at the polling place from the standpoint of how it went down. I walk up to the line (3 voters) at my precinct table and Mrs. Cochran yells, “Jackie Newton democrat”. I reply formulaically, reciting my current age “at 50 most everyone refers to me as Jack”. The girl at the role sheet says, “Its John newton, Democrat”. Then Mr. Cochran says, “don’t worry about his signature he just scribbles it anyway”. I reply, “A signature is meant to be a personal mark that is not easily forged and that if I wrote it in standard cursive I would come to vote and find that they already voted for me”! Chuckles around. That was the standard patter, but in years past Mrs. Badger told Janet that the ladies at Savannah Methodist church were watching for us! HOOOO HAAAAH! If really they wanted a Newton siting they have a better chance staking out the local beer garden! But Janet was too taken aback to come up with a witty rejoinder and said that that was a low probability event. Indeed! As I was moving to pick up my ballot I noticed a hand written sign on the table – “YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR NADER”. I remarked that this seemed like a political statement. Paul Cochran said that it wasn’t, it was just that Nader had lost his bid to be included on the ballot. I remarked that the sign should read that Nader is not on the ballot then. Paul then said that his name was still on the ballot. So I said that it should read that due to non qualification Nader is ineligible for a vote. He said “yeah” but nothing was done with the sign. I know that all of the old folks there conducting the election would like nothing more than to have ineligible Nader votes cut into the Kerry turnout. It was subtle disenfranchisement of the Liberal voters. But such is life in Lawrence county – home of graft and corruption.

Then I got home to find a crank caller from the Republican National Committee offering to take me to the polling place, on my answering machine!

I hope all my Liberal readers have exercised their civic duty and have contributed to exorcising the evil unelected president.