Still moves the glacier.

A call has come for some more detailed news from camp. So I will cover a few topics. The foxes have doubled in size and are residing under the shop. Aside from screening and screen doors and some detail stuff the new cabins are ready to rent. Number 11 even features a tank flushing (No Bucket!) toilette – “Don’t crowd folks there’s plenty of room, give the commode some air”. My list of things to do around camp is still about a yard long but it was 2 yards long 2 weeks ago! There is a massive amount of wood and brush that needs to be cut around camp I have been side tracked with these new cabins for the last 2 years. I am sure that sleeping to 11:00, drinking beer and fishing hasn’t contributed. But HELL, if I don’t keep enjoying this you won’t have me to kick around any more!

The lake temperature is 66F with a light southerly and scattered showers. Janet and I will be going out fishing and have fish for dinner tonight. A first hand report on fishing conditions will follow.

This Blog is interrupted by an urgent message:

From: Subcommander Kirby of the Starcruiser Noncompismentus
Subject: Technological Update, Discovery of a new Cloaking System

Whilst on Patrol with The Mother Starship, commanded by (not really “commanded” but actually just an advisory capacity, you see we don’t really have to accept orders from the Mother Starship as they are just suggestions) My Mommy and Vengeful Snarl, commanded by Admiral Rudy, I happened upon some alien technology that would act as a cloaking device enabling me to approach the alien species identified as Stinky Poos. There it was laying on the surface with all the scents identified with the Stinky Poos – all I would have to do is apply this substance to the outer surface of Noncompismentus hull and I would be nondetectable to the Stinky Poos sensors!

I immediately applied the entire mass to the forward part of the hull! It was glorious – I was moving around completely unseen by Stinky Poos sensors! It was exhilarating! But alas, I traversed an area “up space” from The Mother Starship. Mother Starship went to top speed (about one quarter impulse for most ships) in pursuit – I was being hailed – “Kirby come here, Kirby come here, KIRBY GOD DAMN IT! – KIRRRBY!” I was being advised to investigate the Stinky Poos stronghold as soon as possible. I acted on this advice immediately! While in the vicinity of the Stinky Poos stronghold I noticed (DeathStar) Paterfamilialis looming over me brandishing the ION BROOM! It was time to retire at highest warp speed to the immediate protection of Mother Starship, as Paterfamilias’s malevolent intentions were quite evident. My tail sensor array was going to be adjusted with the Ion Broom! In deep space no less! I was caught by a tractor beam from the Mother Starship and brought on board. We moved slowly back to Boreal Starbase with one strafing by Paterfamilialis. To my surprise I was immediately taken to space dock and my hull was thoroughly scrubbed.

So much for technological innovation!

It’s an ill wind they say!

As Rich Hennessey used to say a “blue norther” came through last night. The temperature went down to about 40 F last night, and the north wind is howling. White caps making their way sedately down the lake and breaking on our beach. So surf’s up – surf fans, get your wet suits on and hang ten! If you don’t wear a wet suit you’ll be hanging far less than “ten” (shrinkage yaknow) and you’ll have to wear bug dope!

The “bug dope” expression that we native Pennsylvanians use can be problematic with kids in camp. I was filling out licenses for the latest group of guests from Pa a few minutes ago. They have several kids with them and one of the adults remarked, “don’t touch the minnow water you have dope on your hands.” The father of the kids said that we should call it bug spray to avoid misunderstandings. I can just imagine it now, the kids go back and tell Mom – Dave kept us really doped up so we wouldn’t be bothered by the bugs! – or – We were really doped up whenever we went out fishing! So now it is officially termed Bug “spray”.

Weather watch – Last week we had a Canadian weatherman in camp who works for “The Weather Network” a Canadian cable/satellite network. He told us that he would mention the camp on the air on Monday (21st) at 12:30. If you have access check it out.

The temperature should just about make it to 60 F today. It’s partly cloudy and features a stiff north wind. The lake temperature dropped 3 degrees overnight. That usually bodes ill for days fishing success. But things are operating strangely this year – the last time it did this two weeks ago the fishing picked up! Go figger! At any rate, its Saturday and not so bad since most everyone is too tired to do much fishing as soon as they get here anyway. If things operate as per usual fishing will be back to normal tomorrow. As Paul Harvey would say “Good ….. DAY!”

Urgent Communiqué from The Boreal Sector
From: Admiral Rudy, Commander of The Vengeful Snarl
To: Starfleet Command Council
Subject: Curious new Alien incursion

Sirs, we have encountered a curious and potentially disastrous situation here in The Boreal Sector! A New Alien species has been detected repeatedly. Contact has been established only through scent markers. They have identified themselves as (get this shit!) Canadien Foxes Rouge Sauvage et Demence Du Nord! Keerist, couldn’t they come up with a longer name? We thought about just calling them the Shitheads, but that was rejected since “Shithead” is Subcaptain Kirby’s code name and didn’t want confusion. Then the idea of an acronym was floated – CFRSeDDN – Yeah right!

Imagine a battle situation:

* Noncompismentus to Vengeful Snarl: Siting of species CF????? Hmmm, the ones with the long names – you know Rudy, I can’t remember the name, it’s the name that has something about Due to Nude – hey you know what I mean – don’t put me through this! Admiral Rudy cut me a goddamn break with this crap!

* Admiral Rudy to Shithead: Your message is garbled and nonsense please retransmit!

We finally arrived at the name Smellypoos. Given the nature of their contact, we thought it was appropriate.

They initially set up a major base in the heart of our boarders! It is an outrage, the insolence of these creatures, first their unintelligible name and then this unmitigated invasion! As we increased our patrols they later moved their base to just outside of our regular patrol zone. Still TOO CLOSE for comfort!

They apparently possess advanced sensors, as we haven’t been able to catch them in the open during patrols. Even Subcaptain (demoted from Captain after the infamous Skunklon incident) of Noncompismentus was unable to warp in at high speed to catch them. Ensign Dweezil of the Hissing Chat scout ship has probably seen them but we are still having a great deal of trouble getting her universal translator online! I sense a lack of cooperation with Ensign Dweezil and recommend that Paterfamilias adjust her stern sensor array using the Ion Broom!

Thus far an uneasy peace has been maintained. But we are noticing a marked decline in The Squirrelon presence! We realize that this is a good thing but how does that bode for the future peace. Subcapatain Kirby says we should take a page from Uber Idiot W’s battle plan and burn down everything in a 5 square mile area to pre-emptively forestall any possibly potential hostilities! That plan was rejected (even Ensign Dweezil told Shithead that it was a “Kitty Poo Poo Idea!”) We have also intercepted communications from the Mouseeze Collective and Chipmunkin Empire outlining massive losses!

We will continue to update the database on the Smellypoos as information is collected.

And Gowganda has Guy (pronounced geee – hard “g” and long “e”).

February 2nd in Punxy has nothing on the approaching Dragonfly Day here in Gowganda. The possibility of the early melt of ice and snow is meaningless when compared to the possibility of the hasty departure of the dreaded black flies and mosquitoes.

This is how it goes: on the morning of Dragonfly Day, Guy the dragonfly nymph emerges from Beeeeutyfull Firth Lake, molts and looks for his shadow. If Guy SEES his shadow this year we can look forward to only two more weeks of blackflies. If Guy doesn’t see his shadow we can expect 4 more weeks of black flies. Dragonfly Day is one of those floating holidays, sort of like Easter except this holiday celebrates a nonfictional event and is determined by some thing that actually happens – The Massive Hatch of the Dragonflies. Janet tells me that her calculations indicate the Dragonfly Day is well nigh! I am antsy with anticipation (might be the blackfly bites though)!

There is no sight more beautiful than when I walk down to the lake, to get the temperature on a nice sunny day, and see thousands of dragonflies darting and swooping and pausing to chew as they devour the blackflies. Long live Gowganda Guy!

It’s a sunny clear day here with highs in the 70s F expected. The lake temperature is 66 F and a gentle breeze from the north. I was scolded soundly by the pileated woodpecker yesterday, for turning the compost heap. He landed no more than 12 feet from me on a jackpine and squawked like a limbaugh confronted with reality. The fox family has departed camp for more rustic digs. I sorta miss the little devils. *sniff* Janet is happy about their leaving though – she doesn’t have to worry about a Vixen/Kirby celebrity deathmatch!

Future News flash from the USA – May 2010 The Conservatives are still eulogizing Ronald Reagan and won’t permit Nancy to bury the corpse. A bill was presented in the all republican congress to contact the guys that embalmed Lenin and set up a glass casket for The Great Communicator in the capital rotunda. The bill also contains the specifications for the new Reagan ten-dollar bill. One of its features is a micro chip and speaker that says “There you go again!” whenever the bill is spent on food, healthcare, gasoline, utility bills or anything else the underclass gets raped on. This also just in from Britain – Princess Di STILL DEAD!

…was a Poplar!

Now is the time of the “fuzzies”. When I shut down the diesel to check the oil today I had to clear about an ounce of poplar fluff from the radiator cover. I don’t know if I have mentioned this to anyone but I have an idea, that should probably be filed in “The Jack’s Cockamamie Schemes File”. (A rather large file if you ask Janet). Every year when I am diligently removing the fluff from the radiator cover and observing the vast quantities of the fluff accumulating in small “drifts” around camp I wonder if this ultra soft fiber could be collected and spun into high quality garments. It should spin into yarn very easily judging from the way it clumps when I whisk it off of the radiator cover. It has almost no impurities and has fibers of medium length and supreme softness.

OK here’s the plan – During the post poplar bloom when the fuzzies are at their peak we deploy a massive number of solar powered fan collectors all over Ontario (by helicopter of course) and collect the fuzz every 2 days for sale to textile manufacturers. Of course we would have to market the cloth as a high-end super premium fabric. It would be similar to the Tibetan mouflon scarves that all the Hollywood types were wearing a few years back, thus contributing to the near extinction of that poor sheep/goat. Voila! Gold is dancing in the wind in Northern Ontario. Sheeit, its just another of my pipe dreams.

Its in the low 80’s today and a thunder storm is gracing us with its malevolence sending Rudy and Kirby into the deep confines of any hidey hole they can find. We need the rain though, as the bush is tinder dry. I only hope that the storm drops enough rain to preclude forest fires started by the lightening strikes. The lake temperature is 64F and the guys in camp are catching walleye like crazy. Nice ones too. The black fies are fierce. Janet is charting the lake temperature and expects the dragon fly hatch any day now, thus bringing the demise of black fly ascendancy. I certainly hope so. I would love to be wearing shorts and the foxes wouldn’t be nearly so itchy.

“I’d run my boat down a wet road to see you”

That was what a young “rake” from Tideoute said to my sister when we were camping along the northern Allegheny River a long time ago. He had crush on my sister and an early jet boat, which was the perfect river craft since it drafted nearly zero water when it was on “plane”, and could easily navigate the riffles between pools on the river. How long ago was it? Well lets put it this way it was before Kinzua dam(n) was built and screwed up the ecology of the upper Allegheny! Keeerist is my sister getting old!

Well that’s what I thought about the other day when we went pike fishing on a small backcountry lake. The pike were not biting so we decided to explore the water route to the next small pike lake on the drainage. I had heard from a local friend that the stream was passable, by canoe in the spring, to the next lake. Well it was like canoeing on a “wet moose trail” only one difference; moose generally follow a straight course! We went about a half-mile on the stream or about a quarter mile as the crow flies and I noted that the shadows were getting long. So I decided that I would get to see the next lake in the chain another day. I didn’t want to try to navigate this “moose path” in the dark on the way back. It’s a good thing too since we had to paddle across a lake and carry the canoes about a quarter mile back to the truck. I can’t wait to get back there earlier in the day and give it another go though. I’ve wanted to get into this lake since the first time I hiked above the falls on the Wapus when I was a teenager. I guess I am patient because its only been about 30 some years later that I will get there!

The weather today was breezy from the west, clear and in the upper 70’s F. The water temperature is 62F and holding. We “saunaed” last night and thats a little cold! The walleye are biting and I caught a few nice bass when I went out for a short fishing break. The black flies were particularly vicious yesterday but aren’t too bad today owing to the low humidity. When I was walking back to the house from the docks a few minutes ago I walked no more than 10 feet from the mother fox as she was nursing her kits. I greeted her and told how nice her babies were looking and she was suitably unimpressed!

“Hello, is thees the Swiiinging Spoooortsmaaan’s Camp?”

“Ahhhh, why yes, this is Jack, may I help you?”

“I am Uri and my brother Gayorg is on the other line – we are the Festrunc brothers and we are two wiild and caaazy former soviet block guys! We are calling from cheeekoslowvakia – Uri is in Sloovakia and I am in the Cheeeck Republic.”

“OK.”

“We would like to hookup a week at your wiiild and craaaazy camp.”

“What has – uh – motivated two people such as yourselves to come to Sportsmen’s Camp, dare I ask?”

“We are two wiild and craaazy techy guys! We have been cruising the wiild and craaazy Intraanet for FOXES! And we have been reading your wiild and craaazy high tech intraanet BEE Log! We now know that there are FOXES at your camp! We have already gone to the statue of liberty to get the birth control devices and we want a wiild and craazy week at the swinging Spooortsmans camp!”

“OK, we have many openings in JUNE, things are really “active” and the FOXES are here!”

“Did you hear that Gayorg? We will soon be hooking up with a bunch of wiiild Caaaanadien FOXES, at the wiild and craazy swinging Sportsmaaans Camp! Didn’t I tell you that the swinging intraaanet would make cruising for FOXES easy?”

And so it went from there. I got to see the four kitts and mommy vixen as I was setting the east dock yesterday. Janet drove her bicycle down and got the above shot.

The water temperature is 59 F and the air temp is about 64 F with scattered clouds. Paul and Bob went out fishing. I have various sundry chores and tasks to complete so elected to stay behind. I will report on their fishing success later. The black flies are moderate today and the mosquitoes are beginning to appear. The leaves are about the size of a quarter on many of the poplars. This is important as an old local said, “The pickerel don’t bite properly until the poplar leaves are at least the size of a quarter”. I have found this to be true!